I am a recovering "yes" person. Generally, if someone asks me to do something for them or attend an event or support a cause, my answer is yes.
Saying yes all the time seems like a good thing. People generally tend to like you more if your answer is always yes but I have learned to embrace saying NO.
Being a yes person can mean that you are generous and caring and put others first but it can also mean that you may care too much about what others think about you. Sometimes we are afraid that if we say NO we are letting someone down or they will think less of us.
The more I learn to love myself, the better I am with saying no. Recently, a good friend of mine got married and we laughed about how they could now say NO to a lot of things and blame it on their spouse or kids. Being able to say things like "It's just not good for our family right now" or "I talked it over with my husband and it's not a good idea" is a luxury that people with spouses and children have.
If you are a family of one it can be hard to come up with an excuse as to why you can't do something. You can often feel guilty or selfish for not saying yes to every opportunity or social outing. After all, people tend to assume that since you have no spouse or children you have copious amounts of time, energy and resources.
I have learned to say NO without giving an excuse. To my surprise, simply saying NO has been enough for most people. Just this week, I was asked to chaperone a field trip on Sunday from 5-9 pm. It would involve me seeing an incredible performance of Anastasia and hang out with some of my precious students.
After just a moment of consideration, I replied back and said "I would love to, but I will pass". The person replied back "Ok". That was it. There was no long explanation about how I generally don't like to work on Sundays or that I like being in bed by 9 pm for my own self care. Most of all, I did not apologize for saying NO.
Saying NO more has allowed me to say YES to the things that God has asked of me. Sometimes God is asking me to do "bigger" things like creating more time to write, carving out more money to give or traveling to see family but generally it is the smaller things He is asking me to do like going to bed at a decent time, waking up early and spending time with him, keeping my house clean and prioritizing my health. If I am asked to do something that threatens my ability to do one of the above then I simply say NO.
What have you said NO to lately that has allowed you to say YES to God in another area of your life?
Did you know that EVERY time I write a post or send an email or promote a service I hear this in my head:
"Nobody cares what you have to say"
"Stop bothering people"
"What you offer is not worth paying for"
"Stop trying to be successful"
"Nobody is going to read this"
Does that ever happen to you??? When we walk in the things that God has called us to, the enemy starts his strategic attack to derail and distract us. His lies are slightly different for each person because he wants to say the perfect thing to slow you down and keep you from God's plans for you.
At some point, you have to get good at destroying the lies and filling your mind with God's voice and truth. If you ever want to accomplish anything great, you will have to FIGHT the lies. There is no way around that.
I am thankful for my friends who constantly fight the lies and walk in God's purposes for them. I want to give a shout out to a few of them and I hope this inspires you!
Dwight-He would always say "I need to write a book one day..." and then one day he threw away all his excuses and actually did it!! He is encouraging black boys everywhere with his new children's book "Black Boy Soar".
Cara-Despite life challenges and heart break, she has not only managed to find love again but she has started her own retreat business. She hosts retreats in Morocco, Greece, Italy, Turkey and Israel all for God's glory. https://www.lifewithim.com/
Jacqulyn-Even with health challenges, this woman has founded an incredible organization called Christian Children's Empowerment. On top of that she has written several books and continues to give back.
Joanna-This woman is on FIRE for God and he gave her the courage to start her own baking business. Her cupcakes are so good that grocery stores place orders for them! https://www.thekindcake.com/
Cameo-One of the most determined women that I have met! She is an artist, fashionista, entrepreneur and soon to be author! She uses her gifts and talents to build up girls of all nationalities. https://wearefawm.com/
One thing that ALL these people have in common is that they have heard the lies...at times they may have listened to them but they pushed through with God's truth and walked in the purposes that He had for them.
It's your turn. Your turn to tune out the lies, tune into God's truth and walk into his purpose for this season of your life!!
We all have women that we admire. I think about people like Michelle Obama, Oprah, Beyonce, Joanna Gaines, Priscilla Shirer, or the bloggers who seem really fabulous on Instagram.
I think that deep down the reason that we want to meet inspiring women is because we see a little bit of ourselves in them. Maybe we aspire to be like them in some way or another. Sometimes the most inspiring people in our lives are not the ones on TV, but the women who we interact with each day.
Years ago, I met a young lady who followed an urging from God and became an ordained minister. She pastored a church all by herself and led a congregation of mostly special needs adults. She was strong.
Not too long after, I met a lady who took a huge leap of faith and moved to a city knowing only one person and started to make a life for herself. She was brave!
Once I came across a girl that decided for a year she would do things that scared her. She tried out for a singing competition and for NFL cheerleading. She was fearless.
Then I met a woman who finally let go of a relationship that she had been "waiting" years to become something more. She stopped blaming him and started working on her own insecurities that led her into that mess of a heartbreak. She loved herself.
I met another lady who decided to write a book one day. It was a small book but it impacted hundreds and that one book grew her email list from 200 to 2000. She now has a weekly email list that includes women around the entire world. She was amazing.
Most recently, I met a lady who spent 6 months in a family shelter and got asked to move out of 3 rental homes. Despite the circumstances, she continued to pray for years for God to provide her a home and she just purchased a 3 bedroom home that was newly renovated. She had faith.
These women who I met all had one thing in common, they were all me. Sometimes I find myself in a slump wondering if I am doing anything to make an impact and God reminds me that I am strong, brave, fearless, amazing, faithful and worthy of love.
Recently, I joined the NPC and my coach asked why I wanted to compete. I essentially told her that I wanted to do it for me. I am challenging myself to compete because I WANT TO MEET HER! I want to meet the Nina Elaine that has the confidence to walk across the stage in a bikini and bask in the glory of being fearfully and wonderfully made. I have always thought about that version of myself and wondered when she would appear...I can't wait to meet her!
What version of yourself are you ready to meet? Is the next version of you an author, entrepreneur, sold out servant for God, mother or doctor? What is she like? What has she overcome?
Are you ready to meet her?
In the comments below, tell me about the women you have met (aka you!) and tell me who you are looking forward to meeting (the next version of you!)
